Socks, Blankets, and Kittens!

Haven't posted in a while (again). Had another bout of depression (again). Lost my mojo (again). But things are looking up (again). This last year has been extremely difficult. Between moving, starting a new job, the one-year of my dad's death, breaking up, getting back together, then breaking up again with Steven, and just all the other stuff life throws at you it's no wonder I've been all over the place. But let me focus on the good things: I spent a lot of time cuddling with my cute furball, Bubba. I went to see my friend Megan and managed to give her completed (!) socks!

After spending some time with Megan, her bf Burrito (my nickname for him) and her friend Apryl, I went further up north to visit my brother, his fiance and their son, Wyatt. I met a lot of cute kitties and reminisced about my parents while going through boxes of stuff. It was a short trip, but it was nice to see the lake and to catch up with one of my favorite library ladies, Elizabeth, from Northland as well.

I also went to State Fair and ate way too much greasy food. It was a blast and I definitely got my steps in that day (I was sore for about two days after). Then I wandered down to southern Wisconsin and visited some college friends who I haven't seen in a while. I met their critters, walked along the beach, ate delicious German food, drank hard root beer (amazing!), performed/received tarot readings, and had deep conversations about life with my old roomie Brad. <3 It was just what I needed. I saw my ex, Steven, on my way back home and we had a great conversation about life and love. I feel like I'm in a better place now to reinvent my life. I've felt so lost since my dad's one year death anniversary. And I was handling the grief reasonably well in Iowa, but then the move happened and when his one-year death anniversary came up I just kind of lost my ambition. I'm on some new meds now which should help me focus and take on the day. I feel this renewed energy to live life, not just exist. My parents are dead (lots of people lost their parents younger than I was, so I'm grateful for the 24/27 years I had with them), but that doesn't mean I should stop living my life. I need to move on and learn to live without them. It's hard, no doubt, but they wouldn't want me grieving so long and hard for them. They'd want me to move on, fall in love, explore, travel, and create memories of my own. So that's what I plan to do.

I've noticed the new meds are helping me focus on things I enjoy but gave up. Before, I'd get so overwhelmed because I couldn't focus on anything for any amount of time so I'd just do nothing. I stopped knitting, reading, writing, walking, and even watching shows I enjoyed because I couldn't focus. It was bad. Now I can focus longer so I feel that drive coming back. I want to read, knit, and walk more. I'm not 100% yet, but things are improving. And I can tell they're improving because this past weekend I finally finished that test knit shawl from last year! Well, technically it's not finished finished because I still have to block it, but it's off the needles! It was the first time I'd knit in a while and the first time I'd completed something in a long while. I think Bubba missed me knitting too:

I also finished an afghan after trying to figure out how to widen it. I tried picking up stitches off the side, but it didn't really work. So I single crocheted the edges in gray then built on that. It's not the prettiest fix, but it's just for me so I don't mind. Bubba enjoyed cuddling up with it while I was working on it; he doesn't seem to cuddle up in it now that it's done. Silly cat.

 

That's about it for the last few months, but like I said, I feel the mojo coming back as I start to feel better and more productive.  I'm even heading to the Humane Society tonight to find a lil furry friend for Bubbs. He's been acting rather clingy lately and I think it's because he's lonely. He's alone from 7:40-5 everyday so it's no wonder he cries and wants attention when I get home. I'm hoping a kitten will keep him occupied and give me another fluff to love. :)

Life and Depression (but with a pretty cowl)

I haven't posted here in a while. Things have been rather difficult these last, oh, seven months or so. The one year anniversary of my dad's death kind of threw me in for a loop and everything else (depression and anxiety wise) came crashing down on top of it all. I've lost interest in a lot of my favorite activities (yes, including knitting). I've done a few things here and there, but nothing substantial. Things are lying about either half finished or just started and it's hard to get the gumption to pick it up. I have an excuse for everything: I'm tired, I have a headache, I don't have the energy, I need to clean the apartment, etc. So needless to say, this latest bout of melancholia has interfered with my life. But, in small baby steps, I'm hoping to turn it around.

I have a tendency when I get fed up with something (work, relationships, depression, my weight, etc.) that I think I'm going to make a drastic change overnight. Which, as anyone with a brain can tell you, is not the best way to go about doing things. So I'm trying this time to go a lil bit slower. Which is why I'm writing this post. It's something small and manageable that will give me a lil boost of confidence for the day. Then maybe later tonight or tomorrow I'll pick something else up and work on and that'll give me two boosts to be proud of. Then tomorrow maybe a lil more. And hopefully things will snowball in a positive way.

Since I haven't been crafting much lately, or reading, or writing I don't have much to share. But I do have pics of a lovely cowl I made for my friend Lauren. She was kind enough to take pictures of her wearing it for me:

 

The pattern was purchased as a kit from Craftsy. On a trip to Iris Fine Yarns in Appleton, WI Lauren picked out the buttons -- a beautiful green that works beautifully with the pink yarn. The only difficulty I had with the pattern was picking up the stitches on the back side. It's knit one side at a time and you pick up the stitches from the cast on to knit in the other direction. My stitches didn't transfer very well, but I didn't obsess over it because it's in the back and Lauren was kind of amazed with the knitting anyway. lol As long as the front pieces looked okay, I was happy.

I encourage you to try knitting from a kit once -- it's so nice. The yarn comes with the pattern and you can just get started. No guessing if this yarn is the correct one for the pattern or whatnot. Plus, getting mail that aren't bills is exciting. And yarn mail is even more exciting. Craftsy has a great selection and often has sales.

Well, my darlings. That's all I can do for today. I'll try to post more often. Maybe once a month or so to keep you apprised to my progress (overall and knitting-wise). Take care and fondle some yarn today.

Something Productive

Okay, I'd like to point out that I'm anything but original. Jen started up her knitting blog again and made into a spinning/knitting blog because she's just that caliber of awesome. I'm not. But since she revitalized her blog, I figured I should follow in her footsteps and do the same. What can I say? She inspires me.

I'm not sure why I stopped posting. Maybe because things got too hectic. I graduated, moved back to Drummond, worked at APIS for two months, then moved to Iowa. That's a lot in two months. So I didn't have time for knitting. In fact, I think I've only completed two or three projects in the last six months. Which is pathetic. But I also have other reasons for lack of inspiration. My father passed away in October (the morning after my 27th birthday...birthdays suck) so I've been going to Northern Wisconsin and Peotone and Milwaukee and every which way the last couple months (I can't believe it'll be two months this 15th). The grief hasn't made me especially keen on my usual hobbies. But, I want to get back to knitting because when I do and when I work a pattern I love and when I'm watching something lovely and Jane Austen-y or Downton Abbey-y I almost feel normal again.

So let me tell you about my job, because it's pretty spectacular. Well, spectacular for a recent grad anyway. I'm incredibly lucky to be offered a job doing exactly what I hoped to do: Reference & Instruction. That's my title btw...Reference & Instruction Librarian. Doesn't that just make you smile? It makes me smile. I'm in North Iowa in a little town called Forest City at a little college named Waldorf College. It's about the size of Northland which I'm thankful for because it allows me get a well-rounded experience rather than just being a one-trick pony. When it comes time for me to move on, working at a small library will work in my favor. I'll be able to present myself as flexible and experienced. I work with a great group of people. My director is a riot and wonderfully supportive. I get to try new things, learn, fumble, and make a difference (hopefully). The campus is quiet and it has that small, campus family feel. Even though I'd only been here less than three months when my dad passed away, the outpouring of support and love was heartwarming. That's how I know I'm at a good place.

I started a knitting group on campus: The Knit Wits of North Iowa. It's an open community group and we meet in the library every other Thursday night. I was hoping more students would be involved, but it's still early. Maybe we can gather some more interest next semester. The library team was really supportive of me starting this group and we have a good 5-6 people who regularly attend. Everyone's really friendly and it keeps me on my toes. The first night I had to teach two people how to left-hand crochet. Thank God for Google.

Projects. Well. I kind of gave up on the New Years Resolution thing. Maybe I'll finish one project per year until I'm all caught up. That's the rate I'm going. Not even that rate really. I'm not done with Andrew's Socks.

It's still mostly a Soc...I have to finish the gusset and the foot and the toe. And then the other sock. Maybe I should try knitting English and see if that makes the pattern any easier. It's the twists that get me down. My tension is so tight that it's hard to get my needle under the stitch for the left and right twists. Which makes up the bulk of the pattern. Yay. They're pretty though.

I did a test knit to try and get me out of my funk. I figured having a deadline would help. I made Halona by Allison LoCicero. I chose simple colors and really enjoyed the edging. And I love the wingspan because I'm fat. It can actually wrap around my shoulders. :)

I also made a lace shawl, Cassiope by Alexandra Beck, in my beautiful fall yarn that I got at Yarn Harbor in Duluth, MN with Madeline. (Yarn Harbor is one of my favorite yarn stores. What more could I ask for? Yarn and Lake Superior!)

So I'm really into shawls lately. I'm thinking of starting some mittens for Jen and/or Mary's capelet which is kind of like a shawl.

So what's on my knitting needles? Well. Andrew's Socks. A stoll  from Loops & Threads in my beautiful forest green graduation yarn. And I still have a sweater on my hook for Jen. I hit a road block months and months ago and never figured it out. I should look at it again and call Megan, my go to crocheter.

That's probably enough for tonight. I'll try to post more regularly. It'll give me something to do anyway and maybe it'll help get me out of this funk.

Adulthood? Really?

I graduated from graduate school. I went to Iowa for an in-person interview. I got the job. I'm moving back home for a little while before I start. It's been a crazy month. I finished my classes and passed them all with flying colors (well, except web design but I missed an assignment due to my lack of motivation). All my crap is piled into my closet and I'm not really sure how I'm going to fit it all in my lil car tomorrow morning. Because it's Memorial Day everything is closed and it's screwing up my moving timeline (which is an awful thing to say, but it's true). That doesn't mean I don't respect or remember all the folks who fought for our country...but I had to deposit my checks through an ATM and it was a weird experience. And I have to call TWC tomorrow and cancel my internet and return the box...somewhere. Then I have to pack my car then check out of my apartment. Finally ending my day by driving 6 hours back home. I know in a post not to long ago that I couldn't wait until it was all over, but now I'm freaking out because it's all happening too fast. I just have to remain calm, hike up my big girl pants and deal with it.

Knitting. Funny. So because I've been so busy with school and avoiding school I haven't been knitting. Prior to this past weekend, the last time I knit was when I visited Jen in Evanston in late April. Yea. It's been a while. This past week/end I did go to a Stitch 'n Bitch with my brother's girlfriend-who's-not-his-girlfriend and finished the ribbing for Andrew's sock. Yea...I just finished the cuff ribbing. Pathetic. This weekend I went to Kettle Moraine State Park and knitted in nature with my BFFFL Jen. I have about two rows of red. I need to get back to my old mojo. I think being away from the city will help. Lack of homework will also help.

I start working at the Apostle Islands National Lakeshore on Thursday for my fourth season. It'll be cut short, however, since I got a real librarian job! Which means I'm moving to Iowa. I'm hoping to start August first so I can save up some money and move and find a place to move to and so on. It's very stressful being an adult. I don't recommend it.

Moving On...

So I haven't updated in a while. A few reasons for my absence include lack of knitting mojo, comps, school, work, and the intense desire to sleep. To sum it up, I have last-semester-itis. You'll be happy to hear I passed my comprehensive exams despite the awful questions and the complete void of comprehensive ability needed to complete them. Now that it's over...I have no ambition for anything else. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to work on other projects, papers, and anything school related. I do go to work. Mainly because I need the money and I can read a novel in between helping patrons. My hope is that the weeks will blur together and before you know it I'll wake up and it'll be May 19th (the day I graduate). In the mean time, I have to pass my classes so I work on stuff as needed.

Unfortunately, my lack of school motivation has crossed over into my knitting life. I completed all but one Christmas gift (I hate that hat) and I have yet to give Emma her gift (it's on my couch waiting to be wrapped). So I've moved on to the second part of my New Year's Resolution: gifts I've promised to people. You'll remember that the list is long and diverse. And there's no rhyme or reason for the order of the making of these gifts. So I cast on Andrew's socks a couple nights ago. He wanted a dark red and grey yarn and despite all the websites I searched, I couldn't find one that fit that description. I thought I found one, so I bought it but when I received it (in like 2 days, go Jimmy Bean Wool!) it was more red and purple so I lamented for a bit then put it away in my stash for a pair of socks for yours truly. (Why let the yarn go to waste?) When Jen was in town, we went to Ruhama's in Whitefish Bay and found a lovely dark red and blue yarn that reminded me of Andrew and his red plaid shirts. To add a touch of grey, when I was in Duluth at Yarn Harbor I got a lovely skein of grey yarn to use for the cuffs, heels, and toes. I wasn't sure how it was going to look at first, but now that I have an inch of the grey cuff and a few rounds of the red/blue skein I kind of like it. Hopefully Andrew will too.

I also started Jen's 1977 McCall's sweater with the yarn I bought last spring. I really like the pattern because it's simple and I can watch copious amounts of I Love Lucy while working on it. I do have to change colors every few rows, but that's alright. I do not have enough yarn though. I blame the amounts given...it's amazing how different instructions were written just 30 or 40 years ago. I'll be making a trip to Michael's soon to pick up more yarn despite Jen's suggestion to use the yarn I have lying around. I want it to be cohesive and I'm not that creative when it comes to colors. I don't have an eye for them like some of my other friends who are extremely artistic. (I always thought it was interesting how impressed people are when I show them something I've knit. It's really just a skill. I don't design the pattern and I simply pick colors I like to use in the pattern.) Hopefully it goes well.

That's all the knitting news I have for you. I'll try to keep you posted as things progress. Happy Yarn Folks!

New New Year's February Resolution

I’ve learned a valuable lesson regarding school and knitting: the two cannot possibly coexist. It's been over six months since I last updated my knitting blog. Before, it was work and class and driving to/from said work that kept me from posting. Now it's class and homework and driving to/from fieldwork and the utter lack of motivation and gumption to pick up a project. Don't get me wrong, I have knitted and crocheted at some point in these past six months. I made a few things for Christmas. I even used a glue gun to make a non-knitting but definitely pro-yarn wreath. But I have so much left to do and when I get home at the end of the day I look at my knitting basket and I can't pick anything up. Woe.

 
Let's go over what I have done in the last six months to see if that helps. One big accomplishment: I finished those damn socks! That's right. I cast-off sock number one last semester sometime and in December I cast-off sock number two.  They're all wrapped up now. And have been sitting on my plastic bin dresser for the last two months. I made a hat for Megan which turned out really small so I gave to to Kayla and it sort of fits (it's the pattern, not their heads, that's the problem). Then I made Kayla a cowl for Christmas that was very Kayla-esque in color (one of our co-workers was jealous. I love a bit of knitting envy). For Mary I made these awesome colorwork mittens which I freaked out about because I never made colorwork mittens before but they were actually quite easy (except picking up stitches for the thumbs...that was terrifying).  I crocheted Andrew an awesome scarf with a simple but manly-elegant X pattern in brown and teal. I still have something I'm working on for Megan, but it's challengingly simple (or simply challenging?) and not turning out how I'd like. She picked out a pink yarn, but I don't think it's working for the pattern. I may revisit and change the color. Make her something else fabulous and pink. I made Erin a simple but lovely honeycomb scarf in a pink/white yarn. I love the honeycomb stitch...cabling and simple. And people look at it and go, "Oh my goodness! It must have taken you forever! It's so beautiful!" And I'm all..."Yea, but my knitting skills are just that awesome." Okay. I'm not that pompous about my abilities, but just go with it. Oh, and as I referred to earlier, I made Jen a yarnball wreath! It took a long time and a lot of styrofoam balls (I couldn't believe how expensive styrofoam was!) and a bit of trial and error with wires and glue guns but it's lovely. Last time I was at Jen's it was up on the wall and looked amazing!

It's been so blustery around Milwaukee that my earlobes and my nose have threatened to fall off. I don't know why my body is complaining...my outer wear in Northern Wisconsin consisted of a sweatshirt and a scarf. But since I misplaced all my knitted outerwear (or found some of my earliest knitting attempts at outerwear with unpleasent, scratchy redheart yarn) I have nothing that helps keep the cold at bay. I even had to break down and purchase...I'm sad to report...knitted mittens. I can't find my alpaca mittens. These store bought *scoff* mittens have ladders and don't fit right. And cost $12! I could have bought two skeins of yarn or one really nice skein and made my own damn mittens. But between my lack of ambition and the dropping temperatures I caved and bought a pair. Now I'm working on a scarf to match the hat I just crocheted with the much needed/appreciated assistance of Megan. So...crocheting. I know how to crochet. Apparently I crochet like a knitter (whatever that means). And the pattern I found was free (thanks Ravelry) but the diamond instructions were confusing. Cause, ya see...in Crochetland you build off what you crocheted the row before. So indead of just worrying about the row and the stitch you're working with, you single/double/half double/treble etc. into the single/double/half double/treble etc. stitch from the row before. Which makes things confusing to my knitter's brain. Thankfully I have a go-to crocheter to help me with such things. In college it was Courtney. In grad school it's Megan. I love my hookers (not that kind of hooker...).

I’m trying to get back to my knitting roots. To get back to that energy and excitement that comes from a new project! So I have a new New Year’s resolution: finish Christmas knitting by March and then start and/or finish all the gifts I’ve promised people by the end of 2013. That’s a hefty goal. And to make sure I don’t forget as much as I’m bound to…I’ll make a list:

Megan: palmless (fingerless?) gloves, lotus hat that was too small
Jen: crochet 70’s sweater, epic socks I promised three years ago
Dad: blaze orange fingerless gloves and gater
Memo: sharks and a new scarf (piano?) since she only has the one I made her several years ago
Andrew: socks
Mary: birthday capelet, knitted headband (turning out more challenging than I thought)
Scott: Civil War socks 

I'm probably forgetting something for someone. But it's a list in progress so I can add and adjust as need be. Once I finish all these gifts I'm hoping to dedicate 2014 to me. That may sound selfish but I haven't spent time on my knitting gifts to myself in a while (with the exception of a few necessary items like my outer wear or my sock motivation shawl). ...I don't remember if I talked about my motivation shawl. So last semester I was having trouble with my knitting ambition (what else is new?) so I decided to start this beautiful shawl I saw in Jane Austen Knits. It's incredibly daunting because you cast-on a bunch of stitches and work with insanely long circular needles. I knitted like two rows and I think my cast-on count was wrong or I accidentally missed an increase so the stitch count is off. Everytime I'd become frustrated with the socks I was working on I'd start my sock motivation shawl and suddenly - like magick - the socks wouldn't seem so bad. And poof! socks are done! (maybe not like "poof!" but poof-like).

That should do for now. I'll post pictures later tonight probably when I have time/find them. I'll also work on my excessive use of parenthesis.